Friday, February 12, 2016

I've moved this blog over to my new one at:

Writer Isabelle Joshua

Please visit me there for more exciting news about my upcoming books!  Cages has been renamed to "The Swallow" and it is releasing late February 2016.  Thank you for joining me through this process of crafting my novel and publishing it.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Cages - One



I grab the laptop out of his briefcase and close the bathroom door quietly behind me, perching myself on the toilet. I open his laptop and hear a thud in the hotel room, my body stiffens, heart racing, I shut the laptop, encapsulating me in darkness. I wait, listening, he’s a big guy would it be better to run or attack. I hope he isn’t awake, this drug has never failed before. I hear the same sound, of course, the air conditioner. I am so on edge, I need to calm down. I take a deep breath, releasing the tension, then insert the flash drive and run the program. I have to wait while it searches and copy all his files, I just hope the drug is potent enough for his size to keep him knocked out so I can finish this job.

I despise Evan the most when I am on assignment. I recall when he forced me on this desolate path.

I was vacuuming, cleaning the disaster that was my apartment, because all my focus for the last two months was to studying to take the bar, my home was the victim of neglect. But that two-day monster exam was behind me, my future with Evan, my new job, was beginning. I heard a knock at the door.

“Kathryn, I need to talk to you,” Evan pushed past me. I had no idea what was going on.

His face was full of anger and fear. My stomach collapsed, I didn’t know why he was here early and so pissed. This wasn’t like him at all.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Evan pulled me to the couch, kissed my hands and face, caressed my palms with his thumbs.

“I’ve been lying to you.” He said.

His dam of secrets smashed, the truth rushed and washed over me like a waterfall, engulfed me, then drowned me.

I couldn’t speak, I felt paralyzed. I saw the anguish on his face, I couldn’t bear to hear anymore. I wanted to escape, I looked around for an exit, but where would I go. I had no one but him. So I steadied myself against the assault of his words. I would have been number four in our class if it weren’t for fucking gorgeous-asshole-lying-Evan.

I couldn’t understand why the NSA wanted me? I know now; I’m living the nightmare they had planned for me.

He told me the NSA became interested in me when I went all genius and solved that stupid coded puzzle. I curse my interest in puzzles.

He explained that I had a unique intelligence and appeal that the NSA felt was vital to their work. I had to make a choice.

“Become an agent or fail the bar.” He said, so cold and impassive.

“Fail? How?” I asked. I was so confused and pissed after all my hard work studying and the three years in law school, I would not fail.

If I rejected their so-called offer, then my bar exam would have been flagged for inconsistencies with one phone call. That meant cheating and failure, no future in the law.

The benefits of becoming an agent were many and lucrative. The NSA would mean paid off student loans, an extremely high paying job, signing bonus and other perks. Is dry humping my targets one of the perks he was talking about, I wonder.

I was still so in love with Evan that I wanted to hurt him. “So what about us? Where do you fit into this?” I asked.

“Kathryn, I know you won’t believe me, but I care about you so much. I never wanted."

“Just tell me what happens now between us?” I snapped, interrupting him.

“You will work for me. I will mentor you and you’ll report to me. We can’t continue our relationship.” He whispered and tried to touch me, I flinched. I hated him.

“How thoughtful. It spares me the trouble of breaking it off with you.” I hissed. “What do I have to do as an agent?”

“Kathryn, you’re a natural and so sexy. You’ve never understood how guys wanted you while we’ve been together. You’re so unassuming.”

I was sick and my body was out of my control, it shook, my teeth chattered. I was more ashamed of all my crying, I hated letting him see me cry. Evan waited for me when I ran to vomit.

The boyfriend, the man I had loved, the sweet guy, the one that helped me get through that last semester of school and dealing with my dad’s death, he was gone. He wasn’t there in my apartment. I didn’t know the person that was talking to me.

He poured out more lies I thought. “I’m so sorry. I am very much in love with you, but you’re not mine. I can’t stop this. I wish I could. I never intended to feel the way I feel about you. I can’t control anything.” He grabbed me before I could push him away. His arms engulfed my body and his face was buried in my hair. I heard him repeat, “I’m so sorry.”

So much of me hated him then, but I was still in love with him. I didn’t care what others wanted of me, I wanted him, wanted him to want me enough so this wouldn’t happen. My heart was breaking and I wanted to forget the pain, make it all go away, pretend it away. I imagined myself with him before this truth ruined it all. In his arms, I could have forgotten.

That was the day, he emptied me of all that I was. Smashed the warm, beating heart that could love; it withered that day. I vowed I would find a way out no matter what and I’d never be like Evan, never hurt, crush someone, obliterate a person that loved me.

I feel sick from the painful memory. Why do I torture myself, reliving it? It’s all I know, the pain. Pain means I haven’t succumbed.

The windows close down, all files are copied. I shut the laptop and slip the flash drive into my purse on the bathroom counter. I ease out of the bathroom and place his laptop in his briefcase. God. He snores so loud. Only twenty minutes have passed. Another ten minutes at least before I need to begin. I lie next to him under the covers to keep warm. My life sucks. I’m lying next to a fat fuck that unwittingly is an enemy to our national security. His life doesn’t suck. He’ll believe he just got laid. He’s lying next to a hot waitress he met just an hour earlier and think he had the best sex of his life. Genetics gave me long, lean legs, slim torso, full round breasts, a captivating face, and intelligence; my life should be different.

I had high hopes for my future. I was top of my class at law school, University Honors at Virginia Tech in systems engineering. The only blemish was my stupid decision to give up the cello and lose my full scholarship in my fourth year at VTech. Why I didn’t double major, I will never know.

I feel the familiar vibration from my phone pull me back from my thoughts. It will all be over soon. My plan will work.

I take a deep breath and release it. I have three minutes. That’s it. Then I’m gone. I sit on top of his hairy, soft body and do my best to keep my naked body from touching him. My hands urge his flaccid penis to an erection. Lubrication, moaning, heaving breathing and movement, all crucial for this illusion. I rock back and forth, moving his massive body as best as I can. I see him twitching and responding to me.

“Oh, Frank, oh, your cock is so hard. It’s so big . . . Frank, your hard cock feels so good inside me. You make me so wet. Do you feel how wet you make me. . . Yes, yes, Frank. Yes, yes, oh, yes.”

I almost laugh. It’s like bad phone sex, but I had to actually touch the guy. Right on cue, his natural response kick in and the condom fills. I crawl off and lay my head on his sweaty arm, put his hand on my breast and close my eyes, pushing away the repulsion I feel at his touch. A few moments later, I feel him squeeze my breast and I look up at him.

“That was so good.” I purr. “You finished right, I did.”

He sits up and scans my body with lust and bewilderment. “Uh, yeah, I did.” He says. “That was more than good.”

“Oh, I am glad you liked it.” I look at my phone. “Shit, I’ve gotta go. I’m gonna be late.” I dash into the bathroom to wash up and slip on my waitress uniform.

He’s still lying on the hotel bed with a dazed grin when I come out. “Well, I’m glad you came in today. You have my number, so call me and we can do this again. Okay?” I blow him a kiss and walk out of the hotel room before he has a chance to catch me. I strut past the front desk and feel the eyes of the clerks follow me out.

I take a cab to the parking lot to get my car and head back to the office. I can drop the files off to the technical team before they leave for the day. I pop my head in Evan’s office.

“I just handed the flash drive off. The report will be done by end of day tomorrow, okay.” I say.

“I love the outfit and red is a good hair color for you. It’s a shame we never used costumes when we were together.” Evan’s lip twitches into a smile.

“It’s not your size and I know how upset you get when you can’t dress up.” I smirk.

He stifles a laugh.

“I am leaving for two weeks tomorrow night. Are you sure you don’t need anything before I leave?” I ask.

Evan shakes his head and returns to reading the document in his hand, dismissing me.